


I’m the lesser of two evils, or am I, am I tricking myself nice?

by Toomanyfandoms99



Series: Supernatural Season 15 Codas [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coda, Episode: s15e17 Unity, Flashback, Heaven, M/M, Past Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27290941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: His eyes were emerald.  A dazzling green with rings of gold around his pupils.  Even with the blood of his enemies splattered across freckles, kisses from dead angels, his eyes are bright and hopeful.  Soft.  Beseeching.  Beautiful.“S-Sir?”Castiel lifts his eyes from the desk.  The walls, lined with streaks of fluorescent light, the light of joyful souls in their personal Heaven, illuminate a young seraphim woman dressed in a pantsuit and carrying a clipboard.  He does not care to look beyond the surface level, at the omniscience affixed to her hands.  He says nothing, and she takes the prompt.“Balthazar is causing trouble again.”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Supernatural Season 15 Codas [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1517966
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	I’m the lesser of two evils, or am I, am I tricking myself nice?

**Author's Note:**

> The title was taken from the song “Two Evils” by Bastille.
> 
> I hope everyone has a safe Halloween weekend!

“The self-hating Angel of Thursday. You know what every other version of you did after ‘gripping him tight and raising him from perdition’? They did what they were told. But not you! Not the ‘one off the line with a crack in his chassis.’”

~

His eyes were emerald. A dazzling green with rings of gold around his pupils. Even with the blood of his enemies splattered across freckles, kisses from dead angels, his eyes are bright and hopeful. Soft. Beseeching. Beautiful.

“S-Sir?”

Castiel lifts his eyes from the desk. The walls, lined with streaks of fluorescent light, the light of joyful souls in their personal Heaven, illuminate a young seraphim woman dressed in a pantsuit and carrying a clipboard. He does not care to look beyond the surface level, at the omniscience affixed to her hands. He says nothing, and she takes the prompt.

“Balthazar is causing trouble again.”

Exhaling, Castiel rises from the chair. His trench coat billows as he rounds the desk and walks briskly. He passes up the reluctant young angel and exits the office.

He strides down hallways until he reaches the bunks for members of his garrison. A new recruit stutters at his arrival and alerts the others to his approach.

Castiel passes through the doorway. Angels hide in their bunks pressed up against the walls. He follows the voices of two angels having a fight at hissing level.

Balthazar rips his gaze from Samandriel as Castiel reaches them. Bugging eyes stare as Balthazar glares at Castiel.

“What do you want?” Balthazar scoffs. 

The disrespectful tone gets several seraphim to inhale a sharp gasp. 

Castiel reads Samandriel as he shrinks under the weight of his gaze. Ice blue meets chocolate brown.

Samandriel holds himself and ducks his head. He mutters, “I-I’m fine.”

Castiel arches a brow at Balthazar. “What is the meaning of this?”

The taller blonde is undeterred. He replies breezily, “I’m just having a difference of opinion with these stupid baby minions. It’s nothing to get your panties in a twist about, little brother.”

Castiel narrows his eyes. His voice comes out a thunderous growl. “You’ve spent far too much time mingling with the humans.”

“And you,” Balthazar smirks, “haven’t spent nearly enough time with them.”

Castiel scowls. Balthazar rolls his eyes in amusement.

“Aren’t you wondering how your Righteous Man is doing ever since you...what did you tell him?” Balthazar’s mouth curves upwards on one side to show his teeth. “That you,” he makes air quotes, “‘gripped him tight and raised him from perdition’?”

As Balthazar chuckles under his breath, Castiel says warily, “that’s what I did. I do not understand the humor.”

“Oh,” Balthazar belly laughs, swiping a tear from the side of his eye, “that line is the start of every romance story written throughout the history of time.” He shrugs. “Or it could be a scene set-up for gay porn. Whichever plot comes first.”

Castiel tilts his head to the side. “I don’t understand that reference.”

Balthazar snickers. “You would if you went to visit your Righteous Man. Went to spend more time amongst our counterparts. It’s not the craziest idea, darling.”

“That’s it,” Castiel says shortly, “come with me.”

His hand clamps on Balthazar’s shoulder. The vice grip has the other angel batting his lashes at the strength behind it. Balthazar’s eyes sweep across Castiel’s serious expression and bows, complying to follow him.

Castiel leads Balthazar out of the garrison barracks in silence. Thousands of invisible angel eyes follow their progress until they are back in Castiel’s office. Thankfully, the new seraphim woman left after his abrupt exit.

Castiel releases Balthazar’s shoulder and locks the door behind him. “Sit.”

Balthazar takes the chair as Castiel rounds his desk. His trench coat splays across the sides of the chair once he sits.

“Do you remember when we were kids?” Balthazar blurts.

Castiel regards him from across the desk with consideration.

“I was the one telling you to fall in line,” Balthazar reminds him. “I was telling you to do as you were told because it was what Father wanted. But you know what? Father isn’t here.”

“That may be true,” Castiel says easily, “but we are meant to uphold Father’s philosophy.”

“Oh, please,” Balthazar sighs, “I can’t believe you believe that bull.”

Castiel squints. He has never heard that word.

“Bullshit,” Balthazar repeats.

Castiel rolls his eyes.

“Aha!” Balthazar leans forward, a smile widening on his face. “There he is.” He pats on the side of the chair. “I knew you were still in there. The sass says it all.”

Castiel exhales warily. “The only one I’m tired of is you.”

Balthazar grins. “Keep going.”

“Stop,” Castiel frowns, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Balthazar.”

“Yes, you do,” Balthazar insists, “just wade your way through the bullshit and see past your own for me. Can you do that?”

An unsettling haze sweeps over Castiel. It was a part of himself that he kept buried. Unleashing it would mean pain and betrayal to his fellow seraphim, his fellow brothers and sisters.

He could never.

“No,” Castiel replies, “that would be blasphemy.”

“Ugh,” Balthazar sighs and tips his head up towards the ceiling, “I don’t know why I even try anymore.”

“Stop accosting the young angels and trying to convert them to your way of thinking,” Castiel says, “they are vulnerable and impressionable.”

“Father would call them weak,” Balthazar muses.

Castiel shoots him a dirty look. “They do not know any better. Be grateful that I’m the one who came to find you before Uriel or Naomi heard you talking that way to Samandriel.”

Balthazar levels his head back to Castiel and worries his lip. The point is made.

“Falling in line keeps you alive,” Castiel says. “If you look at it like I do, you’ll make it through without any angel blades driven into your chest.”

A laugh peals out of Balthazar’s mouth. “That would be something, wouldn’t it? Felled by the blade of one of our kin. Hilarious.”

“I do not understand the humor,” Castiel deadpans, “I would prefer you stay alive under my watch. Now stop it.”

“Fine,” Balthazar pushes himself out of the chair, “can we be done now?”

“Yes,” Castiel decides.

“Great,” Balthazar exhales.

As Balthazar exits the office, Castiel is left alone again. Emerald eyes with specks of gold hang behind his lashes.

Castiel blinks and ignores them.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
